On the back of a train ticket

The result of a two-hour train journey, written on the back of the ticket. It pretty much wrote itself, in that odd way that poems sometimes do. 

Chop the lettuce finely on the table

Put in garlic till I say to stop

Feta and cucumber

Pickled onions without number

And anchovies sprinkled generously on top.

Thought that we could make a lot of money

“Let’s see what our lotto playing brings!”

Hoped that we would make it

But the bailiff came to take it

Simply turned up at our house to get our things.

Said that they were waiting for the father

Said that they were waiting for the son

Told us that the mother

Was as good as any other

But the daughter didn’t generally come.

The king is in the palace eating partridge

The nobles are aware that something’s wrong

The peasants are uneasy

And the lords are slightly queasy

They all know a revolution won’t be long.

George has come away without his toothbrush

And he thinks he left the lights and oven on.

Now he’s well and truly in it

Got distracted for a minute

Now his passport and his credit cards are gone.

Eight of us can fit without a problem

Nine is maybe starting to get tight

Ten is very cosy

And eleven’s less than rosy

Any more than that will just end in a fight.

Listen to the tranquil sound of silence

But you never know how long the peace will last

Can you hear the sound of drumming?

It’s the rioters – they’re coming

Come on let’s all go and lie low till they’ve passed.

Fran is causing chaos in the kitchen

Dan is doing business on the phone

Sammy’s in the study

Doing homework with his buddy

And Louisa’s in the garden on her own.

This year it has been customers a-go-go

What we charge they’re glad enough to pay

The economy is booming

But there’s still a crisis looming

So you might as well just spend it all today.

The sun is gently shining on the mountains

And there are rabbits hopping on the hill

The garden’s full of roses

Whose sweet perfume fills our noses

The tornado’s over; now the air is still.

We searched till we located the Big Dipper

Orion’s Belt was hanging in the sky

The Milky Way was sprinkled

Through the black; it gently twinkled

And we hardly even felt the night go by.

I’ve gone and filled the coffee pot with cornflakes

I scrub the carpets till the floors appear

I went to get a hammer

And I came back with a spanner

Now I can’t remember what I’m doing here.