Pearls of wisdom

“Teacher,” my student informed me as he strode purposefully into the classroom one day after lunch, “I was reading a writer – an English-speaking writer called Mrs Rose.”

He looked at me expectantly.

I expressed my pleasure at his reading in English under his own steam, but this did not appear to satisfy him.

“You know this writer?” he demanded.
“I’m afraid I don’t,” I said.

He went on to catalogue the subjects that this writer had written about, periodically stopping to ask, “You really don’t know her?”  He went on for a good five minutes, and it wasn’t until he mentioned a “flower that looks like a bird of paradise” and a “picture of her grandparents” that I realised he was talking about this blog.

He told some of his classmates about it.

 “Are you going to write about us in your blog?” they wanted to know.

“Would you like me to?” I asked.

They were gratifyingly enthusiastic about the idea, so I set them loose with pens and scraps of paper.

What follows is the Collated Pearls of Wisdom Emerging from a Super-Intensive English Course in Central Italy, some in English, some in Italian, some in obscure regional dialects, and some in a dizzying combination of the above.

  

1) SMILE 

Stort va

Dritt ven

It goes crooked

It comes straight

(i.e. Negative things can become positive)

Nella vita ho imparato che dopo ogni tempesta c’è sempre una magnifica giornata di sole che ti riscalda il cuore e ti fa sorridere.

In life I have learnt that after every storm there is always a beautiful, sunny day which warms your heart and makes you smile.

You have smile, also if your smile is sad, because more sad of a smile, there is the gloominess of don't know how to smile. (Jim Morrison)

2) LEOPARDS DON'T CHANGE THEIR SPOTS

Chi nasc tun nun po’ murt quadrat

Someone who is born round cannot die square.

(i.e. People don’t change.)

3) WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WORK IN HIGHLY RADIOACTIVE PLACES

Quando entro in una stanza non pigio l’interruttore, la luce si accende da sola.

When I go into a room, I don’t turn on the light at the switch. The light switches on by itself.

4) NEAPOLITAN TOAST

A chi male ce v’

E chiù faveze ce tratt’!

To the health of those who wish us ill and are deceptive towards us!

5) NEAPOLITAN MANNERS

"You know, in Naples, when they steal the wheels from your car, they leave a note on the windscreen saying 'Thank you'."

"Heh! The problem is when they steal your car. Then where do they leave the note?"

6) THE GENETIC MAKE-UP OF NEAPOLITANS

Il 75% è cazzimm. 

[Suggestions on a postcard, please.]

7) PRIORITIES

Non è tutto oro quello che luccica! La pietra più preziosa è quella che splende nel più profondo del cuore, l’indimenticabile ed immensa emozione di amare!

(All that glitters is not gold! The most precious stone is the one that shines deep within your heart, the unforgettable, immense emotion of love!)

8) MULTILINGUILISM 

"We Italians use our hands when we speak. We are helicopters. English people communicate with facial expressions."

9) THE PROBLEM WITH THE WORLD TODAY

I cellulari avvicinano le persone lontane e allontanano quelle vicine.

(Mobile phones bring people who are far away closer together, and move people who are close far apart.)

10) OPEN YOUR EYES 

Yesterday is past, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift and for this reason it is called the present.

Nulla si crea, nulla si distrugge, tutto si trasforma. L’importante è conservare sempre il bambino che è in noi. Un uomo cessa infatti di essere tale nel momento in cui non si stupisce più non si meraviglia più.

(Nothing is created, nothing is destroyed, everything transforms. The most important thing is to always retain the child within us. A man stops being this as soon as he is no longer surprised and no longer feels wonder.)

11) APPARENT PARADOXES IN THE LAWS OF PHYSICS

Gli incontri di un attimo durano un’eternità.

(Brief meetings last forever.)

12) PUTTING THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

Quello che non ti butta giù ti rende più forte. Quello che ti rende più forte ti migliora. Quello che ti migliora permette a gli altri di migliorarsi.

(What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. What makes you stronger improves you. What improves you allows others to improve.)

Ci sono giorni che valgono tutta una vita e vite che pensi non valgano un solo giorno. Ma in ogni giorno c’è una vita intera.

(There are days that are worth a whole life and lives that you think aren’t worth a single day. But in every day there is an entire life.)

13) TIME TO TAKE A BREAK

Son pighiat la carn… Moo!!! S’ann pighia l’ossr.

(They've taken the meat… now they can only take the bones.)

14) ANATOMY LESSON

Tien a cap p’ spart’r i rrecchie

(Your head is only there to separate your ears.)

15) KNOW YOUR PLACE

Capo indiano (red skin) Il Dio che ha creato tutto questo è lo stesso Dio che ha creato l’uomo bianco e l’uomo rosso.

(Indian chief (red skin) The God that created all this is the same God that created white man and red man.)

16) BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS

Quando vuoi qualcosa, la devi cercare, la devi inseguire e non devi mai mollarla…

(When you want something, you must seek it, you must follow it and you must never let go of it…)

17) BLOOD IS THICKER THAN FIANO DI AVELLINO, DOCG, VINTAGE 2005

Il mondo è paese

La famiglia è il mondo.

(The world is a single country

The family is the world.)

Chi ha avut avut avut

Chi ha rat ha rat ha rat

Scurdamm’c o’ passato

Simm e Napol paisà

(Whoever has had or given, let’s forget everything; we are all from Naples.)

Tale mamma

Tale figlia

(Like mother like daughter.)

18) YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE

Jo cannarizzo stritto stritto sé gnotte la casa co’ tutto titto.

Tra cici cicerchi i lenticchie i mejo legumi so le zazzicchie

The contributor of this pearl of wisdom flatly refused to supply an explanation, insisting that it can be neither translated nor explained; indeed that it has no independent existence outside its native dialect. Truth be told, I don't even know if it's one pearl of wisdom or two. It didn't even come up in a Google search.

19) AND MY COLLEAGUES SAY:

Always remember that God only helps who helps himself/herself.

Believe in your destiny and always go forward.

A man is 3 things:

1)      What he thinks he is

2)      What his friends think he is

3)      What he really is

Think about it!

And think we shall. Thank you to my guest contributors. If I've made any mistakes with the dialects, feel free to let me know.